Times are strange and stressful and they’re affecting us all in different ways. Former service user Beccy has noticed some positive aspects to life under lockdown, as we all reflect on how it’s been made apparent there are different structures to society that are available, rather than the one we’re all used to.
Usually I think of the negative side of things first, however I surprised myself by finding positive things with the lockdown. I have noticed that my inner voice is a lot quieter with regards to all the guilt about not going out, worrying about what I think I should be doing or am not doing. Where people are complaining about been unable to go out, I’m enjoying staying in without the pressures I would normally put on myself. I am much more at ease with who I am as a person, accepting that I am more at ease on my own and that it doesn’t mean I’m bad for acknowledging that this is how I am.
Just because I’m on my own doesn’t mean I’m lonely all the time. I have felt much more alone in a crowd than I have in lockdown. It has forced me to look at how I spend my time and set myself manageable goals to get things done. It’s amazing what you can get done while waiting for the kettle to boil. Keep it simple, small bitesize jobs with rest and rewards and it soon adds up to big jobs done and a sense of achievement and inspirations to do more.
The lockdown has helped me adapt quicker to changes in my life. I’ve been physically unwell this last year and was finding the effects of this hard to adapt to. Now I’m back on medication that helps I am more able to do practical things and am inspired to do more.
I feel like I’m living today instead of just existing. Lockdown has shown me what is important to me in life and what I would like to do with my time. I’m coming round to the idea of technology and how that can be a force for good in contacting others. I didn’t think it would be good for people who struggle to socialise with others to do it at a distance. Now I have seen that it can be a good way of feeling included, seeing others and a good way to practise social skills.
Change happens and I have hope that I will adapt and get through it at a pace I can cope with and with the support of others.
There are negatives with the lockdown: I’ve eaten more than I should, I’ve missed being in regular contact with those closest to me, going out is more anxiety than I like but I have been able to do it and manage the panic attacks by accepting how I feel without letting it overwhelm me. Acceptance doesn’t mean giving into how I feel. I can move forward in a better, more constructive way because I understand how I feel and know it will pass. Taking small steps out of negative thoughts and feelings is easier today because I break things down into small manageable pieces and take plenty of tea breaks or do something that I like.
The future looks brighter today than it ever has before mainly because I’m thinking about it instead of the past. The changes to life for everyone don’t have to be bad. I am more optimistic about the future even if we are to remain socially distant or stay in lockdown. Change happens and I have hope that I will adapt and get through it at a pace I can cope with and with the support of others through alternate channels such as zoom, social media etc. Always remember however small there is always hope. Hold on to it and one step at a time things can and will get better.